Sunday, July 20, 2008

#8 - Jacob's Creek Shiraz Cabernet

Welcome back to cheap wine, cheap reviews! My enterprise got interrupted by a cross country trip in an RV and settling into my new home. During that time, I drank Moderately Priced Beer instead of cheap wine because it just went a lot better with food cooked over a fire or a propane stove.

This bottle of Jacob's Creek can probably be found anywhere - we happened to pick it up in a Costco in Henrico County, Virginia to stock up for our trip. It's a 2004 vintage, which probably makes it the oldest wine on this list, not to mention one of the few that actually cares to boast its birth year on the label! Let's see how it stacks up to our previous contestants.

The first impression I get is sweetness, and it's not necessarily a good thing. I'm not a huge fan of overly dry wines, and I like to get a hint of the fruit that once existed before it was pulverized and left to rot in a barrel for months. But this tastes like grape juice with a little rubbing alcohol poured into it, and I am not pleased. The sweetness is supposed to linger at the end of the sip, not assault me at the beginning. Ugh, ugh, ugh!

Now, if I take pains to position the glass so that the wine hits the dead center of my tongue and skips the beginning, the assault is brunted, but I should not need to pinch my nose and tip wine down my throat. That is what vodka is for, and that spirit is usually enjoyed for its efficiency in inebriation, not for the way it tickles one's palette. (If you drink the kinds of vodka that are meant to be savored, you are probably reading the wrong blog.) I think that this wine is going to return to the back of the shelf and be used as Second or Third Glass wine, when the happy memories of better tasting glasses make me forget that this one is so bad.

Monday, April 28, 2008

#7 - Fish Eye Riesling

Fish Eye is another one of those brands that dominates the bargain bin. I enjoy their Cabernet (I started drinking it before this enterprise, so we'll have to wait for the next bottle for that review), so I decided to try their Riesling.

Riesling was the gateway to wine for me. Back in the days of good alcohol = candy, I was a bit put off by drinking something that lacked the sweetness of Kool Aid. Riesling was in more familiar territory for me - it was like cider, but a bit dryer.
The familiarity was important. I was a fussy eater as a kid - anything like behaved remotely like a vegetable was out of the question (my poor mother tried, but my ability to daydream meant that I could endure three hour sit-offs at the kitchen table), and there were even many popular kid favorites that I rejected because the texture was all wrong. I always had really sensitive taste buds, and it took me well into my early 20s to be able to stand wine, beer, or coffee, let alone develop an appreciation for them.

In my newfound sophistication (stop laughing!) I really enjoy a Riesling that is tart, yet with that hint of sweetness. Many Rieslings go too far in one direction or another. Fish Eye's goes slightly too far towards tart. I can taste the sweet notes if I swish a bit around on the tip of my tongue, but if I do that to a whole glass, people look at me funny. That doesn't mean I haven't done it before.

It still may be the best Riesling that I've gotten for under $10 a bottle, and the only one I've gotten for $5.99. Next week, I'll be scouring the bin for other Rieslings!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

#6 - Little Boomey Shiraz

Bring on some cheap Australian wine! This could be a trend, as the long Australian drought has prompted many farmers to switch from rice to wine grapes because the grapes take a lot less water to grow. The downside to this, of course, is a massive rice shortage with worldwide consequences. Do you want a little wine to forget that sad fact?

Little Boomey has three wines in the bargain bin - a Merlot, a Cabernet, and this Shiraz. First of all, it has the cutest label ever - other than a little square at the bottom with the name of the wine, the label is shaped like a boomerang - a neon orange boomerang with stripes, polka dots, bright yellow triangles and a very whimsical presence, as if "Little Boomey" is about to jump off the bottle and say hello! (If he does, please refrain from more wine.)

I'll admit that my knowledge of Shiraz is limited - hell, what am I saying? I don't really know the differences between the varieties of wine other than my vague observations. Cabernet is spicier, Merlot is dense and slightly more syrupy, and Pinot Noir seems lighter than either of those. Shiraz hasn't distinguished itself for me yet, although I'd put it closer to a Cabernet than any of the others - which gives it a leg up in my book!

I decided to do a little research and check Wikipedia, that paragon of factual reporting. I typed in "wine" and got a nice surprise:
Wine is an alcoholic beverage made from the fermentation of grape juice.[1] When Dan M**** drinks wine during the evening hours he tends to get drunk and fornicate with a man named Heath. Dan finds it easier to have sex with other men when he is buzzed off wine.
I am guessing that the next refresh will bring that one down, with an angry note in the edit logs about the seriousness of wikipedia's work. So we'll forget this sidequest and discuss the wine at hand.

Little Boomey is quite zippy. A full minute after sipping it, I can still feel a lingering zest on my tongue, just as you would after eating some spicy sauce. It's not very sweet at all - most of the flavor is sharp in character with a square finish. The label tells me that it is "bonzer with tri-tip steak, ribs, sausages, or any food fit for the Barbie." (I amused at the reverence implied by the capitalization of Barbie.) I agree - I could go for a nice pepper-crusted steak seared over a grill right now. Would anybody like to help me out?

I don't think that I could drink a good deal of this stuff; it's a bit too rich and caustic at high volume. I bet it would make an amazing cooking wine for a hearty dish. With the rising prices of wheat and rice, I better eat potatoes with my steak, or else the wine will be the cheapest part of the meal!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

#5 - Georges Duboeuf Cabernet

I'll totally admit that I bought this wine because of the colors on the label.

I had grown wary of bright, neon colors after the Full Circle debacle.* I still caved and bought Fish Eye, which is a delightful wine with a bright orange label and a catchy electric blue font. I only did this because I knew and trusted Fish Eye.
Buying two neon labeled wines was just too chancy. I needed something sophisticated and reserved... I needed a tender periwinkle and violet flower set against a stark white label with understated, classic black text. The text that says "Cabernet Sauvignon" is larger, centered, and more noticeable than the actual brand of the wine, which is hidden in small, white font set against a periwinkle box that barely makes it onto the label. There is no boastfulness here, only somber assuredness of wine superiority.
And in the two for $10.00 bin, no less!

By this point, you're probably curious about the wine itself. I'm getting there. We haven't even gotten to the back label yet!
This Cabernet Sauvignon has a rich and complex bouquet, ripe with fruity aromas. It is well-structured and medium-bodied, with understated tannins.

Yeah, yeah. Here we go with the tannins. What can I tell you about this wine? Nothing really pops out at me, but it seems kind of light. It's definitely not watery; it's more that the wine has a pleasant taste as it hits the tongue, but it doesn't leave much of an aftertaste. Some wines like this will kind of fall apart at the end - a note that is really zesty and spicy will turn sour or acidic. No, this wine stays mild and pleasant throughout, and doesn't change at all at the end - it just disappears. It makes you want to drink more and more. Its elegant label hides the ugly truth - this wine is a pusher, complete with a catchy website. Note the kindly smile of the older gentlemen as he beckons you closer. If you get too close, the handsome young man in the pink shirt will seal the deal.

In summary: Georges Duboeuf Cabernet is tasty in a refined way; there are times that a label actually tells the truth. And that man in the pink shirt? He was just as tasty and refined as the wine, but left me in the morning with a terrible heartheadache.

Update: Oh no! The classy website has either disappeared or moved. Perhaps I didn't post the good review in time for them to pay their domain bill.

#4 - Full Circle Merlot

As we learned in the last post, Full Circle Cabernet was the Oldsmobile of Cabernets... solid, dependable, and not very exciting. I wondered aloud if the Full Circle Merlot I was opening would be more of the same.

Ugh! Even when I am not fond of a wine's distinctive flavor notes, it's usually drinkable, especially after I've had a glass of good wine and am just looking for a second glass to lull me off to sleep. However, there is something insidious lurking at the tail end of this wine. You take a sip, and it's kind of dull, and then as you swallow it down and the aftertaste hits your tongue... bam, there it is. A coating of yuck.

Out of my devotion to the craft, I took several more sips to try to figure out where it went wrong and what that aftertaste was. I even waited a day and took another sip, hoping that my taste buds had failed me. No, it was still there. I know that I have sensitive taste buds, so I poured a little for my housemate, who generally categorizes wines as "red" and "not red." (Occasionally, he humors me.) He took a sip, and as the aftertaste washed over him, a notable cringe formed on his face.

"That's... not so pleasant!"

Me: "Try more!"

He gamely took another sip, and identified the yucky part as the aftertaste. But neither of us could put words to it.

In the end, I decided that it had a faint taste of hard boiled egg, or rather it tasted the way that hard boiled eggs smell. This wine can't even serve as a second glass, and am I tentative about using it to cook with. I may toss a bit into a pot with a piece of meat that I am not particularly attached to and see if it works there. If so, the remaining two thirds of the bottle will be cooking wine, and I will never go there again.

#3 - Full Circle Cabernet

I walked into Whole Foods to get some of the amazing honey roasted peanut butter that you can grind yourself. I normally do not purchase wine at Whole Foods because they have the nerve to charge $3 extra a bottle for some of the same brands I can get at my local grocery store. (I give them credit for having some tasty organic wines that I cannot get anywhere else.) But as soon as I walked through the sliding doors into the foyer of sales promotions, I was greeted with hundreds of bottles of wine.

The brand was Full Circle, and the price was $7.99. That's a little more than I normally pay, but the bright neon caps on the bottles were just so appealing! I picked out the Cabernet and the Merlot.

I cracked open the Cabernet that night. To quote my housemate, it was.... red. It was the most standard bottle of Cabernet that I might have ever sipped - nothing exciting, nothing alluring, but nothing offensive, either. It had that very slight peppery zest that many Cabernets seem to have, but without being showy. This is the wine that you give to friends who don't have a palette. This is the wine that you can serve to hundreds of people and have nary a complaint. Nobody is going to gush over this stuff, but it gets the job done.

Friday, April 11, 2008

#2 - McMannis Vineyards Merlot

I have gotten this wine for $12.00 at a speciality store and a much more reasonable $7.99 at Liquors 44, the local liquor store chain.

This wine actually tastes like leather and tobacco. It tastes like being in the back of a dark bar with menacing men with bellies and pricy gear. The sharp tobacco hits you as you take the first sip, and then mellows out before smoothing into a leathery finish. If you're not of the leather daddy admiring persuasion, think of genuine leather new car smell (no phalates for you, thank you!) mixing in with an end of the work day cigarette. I don't smoke and I can appreciate this wine, because the buzz is much more pleasant.

This cheap wine is not for the wine beginner, but might appeal nicely to a single malt scotch drinker.